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’ --Shirley, 7 years oldAND THE BEST RESPONSE‘My Mum drinks beer and she says silly things and picks on my father. Whenever she drinks beer she yells at Dad and tells him to go bury his bone down the street again, but that doesn’t make any sense.’ --Jack, 7 yearsAn old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morningtil night she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out ploughing with his old mule. He tried to plough a lot. One day, when he was out ploughing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began nagging him again. Complain, nag, complain, nag - it just went on and on. All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet, caught her smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on the spot. At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd. When a woman mourner. I had a lesson in UK trains. The Guard, he pointed to himself was holdover from coaching days. The driver drove. The Guard on passenger trains did not have routine responsibilities for ticket inspection or sale. His jobs focused more on safe operation of their trains, timekeeping, handling parcels, and other consignments.A dedicated 'travelling ticket inspector' handled fare dutiesThe Guard is responsible for customer care, and "emergency protection" duties, should an emergency arise, along with other operational rules. He trained using emergency kit such as detonators, track circuit clips and flags to prevent other trains colliding with, for example a derailed train. If in a crash the driver became incapacitated, the Guard is the only person left who can protect the train. Other day-to-day duties include operating the public address system and train doors. If the Guard has significant customer contact, the position is usually classified as conductor-guard or conductor. On.
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